Summer Time

Before summer hits the fan, many people like to how much they're gonna party or drink or whatever floats their boat. Usually for summer though, I like focusing on me...a BETTER me. Last year, I was running around the track in the summer & I was asked if I'm going out for the track team..-_-
Why couldn't I have just wanted to run? Why couldn't I be making sure that my "insides" are working good? Alot of people think that skinny means healthy. Well it certainly does not.
No matter what size you are:

• Drink some water!! Your body is made of it...Now I'm not saying that the extreme is needed like drinking a gallon a day. Your body does have a limit.
• Eat some food that you don't like but need. Or maybe you never tried it & you think you don't like it.shame.Sometimes you'll have to figure out your way of eating it..but it's needed in your body for a reason.
• Do some exercise!! It can be playing ball or zumba or dance. I personally like kick-boxing & I plan on fitting it into my schedule.

Mentally or emotionally I also like to do certain things that just make me feel better. Some ideas:

• Read a book!!! You like sex? read about it. You like war or history? read about it. Finishing a book is also a very rewarding feeling.
• My Line Sister introduced white sage to me. She said its suppose to purify the home. Who on Earth doesn't need some purity in their lives?!
• A very important one that people ignore is...............spend some time alone with yourself. To sit & think & plan your morning, your day, your life..your whatever.I mean..how can you help anyone if you don't help yourself first?

In the summer, I also like to try new beauty routines for my hair or skin or nails. I like trying eating foods that naturally make me smell good or natural mixes. During the school year, school & friends consume our lives. Summer time should be relaxing & just loving and treating yourself well.

Well well well...it's been months since my last post. I just read it...i wasn't feeling good was I? Well, oddly enough since that post, I've grown. & I suppose that shouldn't be odd because people should grow every day in some way.  Many events have happened since my last post.  I've accomplished many goals and ran up many mountains..& fell down a few.
I've almost completed three whole years of college. & today as I was resting I looked through facebook pictures of people from my town.

Our lives are completely different.

I go to class. Some have a kid or kids.  I don't party.  Some party every Friday and Saturday and have to get up early to go work at the plant.  I have a boyfriend.  Some have husbands and/or wives.

And when I go home this summer, our lives will still be so different. We have no commonalities anymore. & when i see those people..i won't brag or boast about my lifestyle. My walk is now different. My talk is now different. We are just DIFFERENT.

I've decided to take some risks.  I've decided to make myself happy.  I'm so excited for what God has in store for me for the next couple of weeks, 3 months, and 6 months.  My time at my university is slowly but surely slipping away from me. I guess I need to start collecting my waterproof mascara.

I have some wonderful people in my life who are also doing great things. & I am so proud of them.& as I sit here eating my sushi, I'm overwhelmed by life.but in a good way.

I have some big and grand plans.
There is a new sheriff in town....

this is my apology to the world.
i'm sorry that i am the way i am.
i'm sorry that i'm tart. and that everyone doesn't like me.and that ppl act like they do when really they don't.
i'm sorry i'm sensitive. that's the way God made me. I'm especially sorry that my sensitivity waves from people to people.its not consistent.thats what love did to me.
i'm sorry that i talk to much.i always have.i probably always will.
i'm sorry that my room isn't always tidy.i'm not a clean freak where if everything isn't in its place i flip out.
i'm sorry i like turning things in on time and not being late.and i'm sorry for freaking out when i am late.
i'm sorry that i can't read minds.if i could my life would be so much easier but not nearly as fun and def not nearly as sad.
i'm sorry forget big and never forget little things like theme songs to cartoons.
i'm sorry i have attitudes when i'm tired.
i'm sorry i get confused so easily & my words get tangled up.
i'm sorry i'm not perfect.it kills me that i'm not.
i'm sorry that my feet hurt when i wear heels for too long.
i'm sorry that i don't make my bed up every morning.
i'm sorry i'm a worry wart.
i'm sorry i don't know technology like every 20 year old does.
i'm sorry i put so much pressure on myself.i wasn't raised to do it. i did it on my own. i don't like failing at things.and when i do it crushes me & it takes a long time for me to heel.no one ever expects me to do bad or to do great.but i'm just expected to do.i get stressed out about almost everything.and i'm sorry about that too.sometimes ppl go through times when they feel like crap. this is a time. January 23 2011. how long will it last...idk...will it happen again...probably. i'm going to cry even though i did last week.& i'm going to shower & i'm going to read.& i'm going to sleep.me being me, when i love someone i have a horrible habit of feeling how they feel. and i gotta stop. i have to. i always thought that when u were in love that u couldn't help but do it.but idk...i just don't know.

i'm sorry for alot of things. things i shouldn't be sorry for...i mean what does being sorry mean anyway.

Have you ever loved so hard that his love overwhelms you?
Have you ever looked at him when he's paying no attention to you and thought wow...that's my man?
Have you ever cried because you never want to lose him?
Have you ever listened to a song and he's all you ca think about?
Have you ever cooked dinner for him?
Have you ever baked for him?
Have you ever thought about changing your life plans to be with him?
Have you ever thought about him not being in your life?...hurts doesn't it?
Have you ever laughed for no reason at or with him?
Have you ever gone out of your way to do something for him?
Have you ever had hurt feelings because he had the hurt feelings first?
Have you ever been happy for him?
Have you ever had to be stronger him than you could for yourself?
Have you ever missed him when you haven't seen him in one day?

If you haven't, you should try it.

It's a wonderful feeling.

2011

so...the first day of class was today. January 12, 2011. Tomorrow is January 13, 2011. And for those who do not know...22 Illustrious Women founded Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated on that day.  I am very happy for the occasion for it will be my first Founder's Day. The thoughts bouncing off in my mind though are not about Delta Sigma Theta Incorporated. I'm thinking more about the members. Not only the members of Delta Sigma Theta Inc., but the members of many Greek Organizations. Why do some people think that they have the "right" to be extra just because they have crossed into an organization? Extra means more than usual. extra loud, extra talkative, extra happy, just...EXTRA. sooo..can some one please tell me? For some reason some people change a little after they cross. and I can say whatever I want to say because I have already crossed. Now I know that confidence may be a little higher in many categories, but still. And I know what it means to be extra..my line name is SHOW OWT. I know how to act like a fool and for a while I did. But as this year has creeped around gracefully, I haven't been "showing owt" the way I used to. I feel that there has been so much extra-ness going around that mine is not needed. I'm not as loud as I used to be. Oh..i'm loud, but not as much as I used to be. so maybe this isn't even about crossing or not.
I am not the girl I used to be. I used to be the happy go-lucky girl that thought that rainbows and sundrops made the world go round. I used to think that long relationships could last through anything. I used to think that everyone wanted whats best for everyone else.
i was wrong.
I also used to be the girl that didn't care about many things. I didn't care if I looked foolish at games or anything exciting because that's what kids to.
Now, and I don't know what it is..some people would say it's my boyfriend. But no one can change you. You change because you want to and it's time to. Now, I'm calmer then I've ever been. I don't have to be the first girl to party hop. I don't have to be the first girl to party hop to a song that we don't even have a party hop. I think I have found a good medium between my past "Erika's".lol
I'm a new women and not because it's 2011.Because it was time.

• My Mama raised me: Remember, you never know who's watching you.

Comparisons

Compare-to examine in order to note similarities and differences.

         Why do we do it? We as humans do more than I think we realize. We compare our children, our parents, past relationships with the current, Christmases from this year to last year. Who is more attractive, who is smarter, which one is better?? I think we do it because we can't help it. It is important though, to remember that people, places, things, anything that we compare...are different. Different for different reasons, different factors make up different things. Isn't it irritating?? Well my last boyfriend/girlfriend did this or was like this. Well "Name" got this or did this and "you" didn't. Maybe that's because we are different people with different thoughts about life.
Be happy with what and who you have. And if you don't want to be happy or feel like that you can't be happy with or who you have, then leave it alone. The best thing to do is remember it, but you don't have to acknowledge it.

Please don't compare people to other people. God made us all different for a reason.

It's Official

It's official, I have found the love of my life.
I cried when he left me.
My throat starts to get clogged up when I think about being away from him for too long.
His love is overflowing in my soul.
I love him.
I trust him.
I understand him.
yeah....it's official.
I have found the love of my life.
That is all.